"Happy" by Leona Lewis

I could characterize the person I see when I hear this, but then that would bore me to death. So, I'll tell you what I imagine.
* * * *
I see a young man who wakes up in a bed to a life he regrets. The look in his eyes are the color of green morning grass after the dawn whispers to the fog that the sun is coming. The blood drips from his smooth soft skin as he closes his eyes once more and breathes in a sigh of relief that he is alone. But he really isn't. The people in the bed dead to the world around him, are mindless corpses wearing gowns of glitter and gold sucking the life out of him every single night. They're the vampires of glamor and horror. The vampires he so wishes would disappear.

He crawls out of the bed moving their arms and legs searching for the ledge to get him from the bed to the bathroom shower. And as the blood soaks into the white sheets, his blond curls, his lost smile, he feels his soul slowly and surely sink into another pit of disappointment. As he gets himself to the bathroom, his thoughts repeat a sort of chant over and over.

One day, I'll wake up and someone will be right there waiting for the morning, kissing my fingers, my lips, my eyes and say, "Ich leibe dich meinen engel." Then everything in between, every life I wish I had won't matter. Because that someone will be right there giving me my life back with just a smile.

When he gets to the mirror reflecting his personal dispair. He sees his entire body is drenched in the blood that was once his and the monsters. how am I alive? how am I still here? Does this mean I'll meet my someone today? Does this mean I'll awake and the fact I'm gay won't matter. The fact I'm different won't matter. Because he'll only have eyes for me....right? His eyes leave what little emotion he has left and walks himself to the shower wishing it to drain through his skin...to get rid of his addiction to be loved. With no one there to snicker, badger, or take away his humanity, he sinks to his knees and cries to his regrets.

* * * *

I call him Hanzel. I have so many daydreams of him with someone who loves him back. Someone who whisks him away from his life as a nightmare. But I can't ever come up with someone who fits him just perfectly.