Christmas Diaper

So I'm in a hurry to get to a Christmas Party that a bunch of my friends are hosting. But you see I'm babysitting two little girls and I can't just leave them at home. Right? RIGHT! So I got special permission to bring the two little girls Molly 4 and Mo Mo 2. Mo Mo is the cutest baby in the world and is my little sponge of knowledge! So on the way to the party, Mo Mo decides to bring out the doom of all diapers. I mean it smelled so bad my eyes were watery, I nearly ran off the road. It was that bad. It was like an elephant spewed out rotten fish and goat meat. I mean my GOD!

So when we get there, my eyes are so red and everything is blurry the window wasn't even able to vacuum out the retched smell. I nearly passed out from lack of air, that when my friend Jack got to the car to help the girls out he shouted, "Dear GOD on Earth WTF is that smell!" I smacked him upside the head for bad language in front of the girls that when I opened the door to the back seat Mo Mo was sitting in, her eyes were all wide and innocent. I took advantage of her expression and said to Jack, "The Mo Mo is innocent!"

Jack looks up at me a little confused, "Is that what that is? My god that child needs to see a doctor or something!" I turn to Mo Mo and gave her an expression to imitate. She squints up at Jack and I like she's glaring and I say, "Are you accusing the Mo Mo of a stinky diaper?" Jack shakes his head no, and Mo Mo looks up at him squinting and we both shake our fist at him, "Then you will suffer the wrath of Mo Mo for falsely accusing her of a stinky diaper!"

I unbuckle her out of her car seat and hand her to Jack. "Whalah you are now her victim and will change her diaper with scented candles and sugar cookies!" Mo Mo smiled behind her pacifier and was air lifted into the house.


The end! haha

"Happy" by Leona Lewis

I could characterize the person I see when I hear this, but then that would bore me to death. So, I'll tell you what I imagine.
* * * *
I see a young man who wakes up in a bed to a life he regrets. The look in his eyes are the color of green morning grass after the dawn whispers to the fog that the sun is coming. The blood drips from his smooth soft skin as he closes his eyes once more and breathes in a sigh of relief that he is alone. But he really isn't. The people in the bed dead to the world around him, are mindless corpses wearing gowns of glitter and gold sucking the life out of him every single night. They're the vampires of glamor and horror. The vampires he so wishes would disappear.

He crawls out of the bed moving their arms and legs searching for the ledge to get him from the bed to the bathroom shower. And as the blood soaks into the white sheets, his blond curls, his lost smile, he feels his soul slowly and surely sink into another pit of disappointment. As he gets himself to the bathroom, his thoughts repeat a sort of chant over and over.

One day, I'll wake up and someone will be right there waiting for the morning, kissing my fingers, my lips, my eyes and say, "Ich leibe dich meinen engel." Then everything in between, every life I wish I had won't matter. Because that someone will be right there giving me my life back with just a smile.

When he gets to the mirror reflecting his personal dispair. He sees his entire body is drenched in the blood that was once his and the monsters. how am I alive? how am I still here? Does this mean I'll meet my someone today? Does this mean I'll awake and the fact I'm gay won't matter. The fact I'm different won't matter. Because he'll only have eyes for me....right? His eyes leave what little emotion he has left and walks himself to the shower wishing it to drain through his skin...to get rid of his addiction to be loved. With no one there to snicker, badger, or take away his humanity, he sinks to his knees and cries to his regrets.

* * * *

I call him Hanzel. I have so many daydreams of him with someone who loves him back. Someone who whisks him away from his life as a nightmare. But I can't ever come up with someone who fits him just perfectly.

"Maps" Yeah Yeah Yeah's

We all have dreams. We have the ones you see as goals, the ones in the night that tell us you're crazy, and the ones during the day when you wish life was better. Well my life isn't better. I could complain about everything like some psychobabble bullshit of a person. But you know what, I'd rather write about the life I will never have. hahaha

So lets give you a little bit of background. Since I was 6 or 7 years old, I always pretended I was someone else. From Jasmine in Aladdin to Rogue from the X-men. I wanted a life that wasn't mine. I don't even remember what kind of person I was half the time. Because I spent so much of it pretending to be someone else that was either a stronger person, an exciting adventurist or a romantic enthusiast. These fantasies of long lasting friends, true love, and a parent that loved me for me never came true.

I have some of these in real life. Some are illusions but not all of them. So I will write the illusions so that one day, one of them will become real. And others will be just pure fantasy.